


Panicking The Paparazzi

by CyberSapphire



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fowey is there to annoy sans, Gender-Neutral Frisk, M/M, More tags to be added, My First Fanfic, Post-Undertale Neutral Route - King Mettaton Ending, So are the rest of the characters needed for this ending, papryrus is NOT dead, sans is there to annoy flowey actually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-12-07 16:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberSapphire/pseuds/CyberSapphire
Summary: Sans becomes king.Find out how the hell this is tagged as Mettasans, the beginning of the king mettaton ending, and whatever else I can pull out of my neck.





	1. Stop Procrastinating You SLOB

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just getting started.

Sans took a useless breath as he shook the kid’s hand for the thousandth time. He could feel the dust on their hand, again. He watched from the sidelines as they slashed a small amount of monsters down, again. They were doing what the flower had dubbed a “neutral run”, again. In all honesty, he was beginning to feel more and more apathetic about… Reality.  
The parts that were always the same for him passed by like a blink.  
But the parts that weren’t the same, Sans had what fun he could.  
  
  
  
Sans was startled awake from a nap he didn’t remember taking by shattering glass. He sat up as an eldritch monstrosity, also known as Flowey, crawled in through his window. Sans raised a hand in a half-hearted wave, and he laid back down on the pile of sheets in the center of his bed. He began to drift back asleep, but was yanked by the foot off of his bed.  
“Thanks, that hurt, bud I’m oaky.”  
Flowey appeared unamused. They were really forced puns anyway.  
“I’m going to make you artichoke on your own phalanges,” Flowey hissed, Sans raised his hand towards his mouth in a joking matter, pressing it up against the single row of teeth. “Anyway. Here’s what to expect-”  
“King conceited asshoe ending?” Sans interrupted. Flowey gave a slight glare.  
“I assume you don’t need my helpful and informative status updates anymore?”  
“Haven’t for the past 20 loops, Flowoah” Sans was still laying on the floor, he was staring off into space.  
“Then let me give you ‘Flowey’s timeline advice for today’. Take advantage of the bot-”  
“Why do you call him ‘the bot’? That could possibly be one of the most sinister things you could call him. And inconvenient too, what if Al-”  
“Let me finish, you egg. You already know what job you’re gonna get, but you should use it to your advantage. I wanna see a King Sans, you’ve never done that before.”  
“I’ll do it if I feel like it.”  
“I wanna see it, so you’re gonna do it.”  
“Thanks for the suggestion, your input is appreciated, and we are currently reviewing your comment, we will get back to in 3-5 business days.”  
Flowey made a frustrated groan and pressed a few of his petals into his face. He sighed, then headed toward the open window.  
“You just remember your duties, I’m gonna go paster Alphys until she kills someone” He said, then tossed himself out of the window like a can of soda. He shouted one last nag from below, “And clean your room!”  
Sans ignored him. He just wanted to sleep. Even after 1000 times, knowing that he couldn’t speak to the lady behind the door until the next loop still bummed him out a little. Oh well, Papyrus will just have to hear twice as many puns. He let himself fall into unconsciousness, he was gonna rest now, and worry later. Again. 


	2. Greasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Needed to establish what's happening in the next chapter, realized that these are pretty short overall, once I have more I will squash some together.

Sans sat in Grilby’s, resting his head on the bar, listening to the quiet chatter of the now dogless bar. He had shoved a handful of fries against his face, smudging grease all over and around his teeth, and he looked a little shiny. Grillby shook his head at the skeleton, before returning to cleaning the same stubborn glass. The first day after the human leaves is always the same, everyone is buzzing about the king’s death, who should take leadership afterwards, stuff that makes sense. What he was waiting for was his brother, who was about to-  
“SANS!”  
-come bursting into the restaurant, and tell Sans about… something. It depended on the ending, or what Flowey felt like telling him, and Sans just wasn’t feeling up to remembering what right now. He sat up and wiped his face on the back of his sleeve.  
“Sans! Make yourself presentable as soon as possible!” Papyrus shouted, not realizing he was stomping his way to Sans.  
“Why.” Sans asked, crushing another fry against his mouth. Papyrus looked a little disgusted by it.  
“Neither of us are working as sentries for Undyne anymore! I wanted to take you to go see other job options!”  
“Oh, where did you find that out?” Sans raised an eyebrow.  
“My little flower friend! He said Undyne asked him to fill in for her while she’s on vacation!” Papyrus held a finger up like Alphys does when she’s reciting a fact out of a textbook, making Sans chuckle the smallest amount. Quieter, “He said he’d still train me to become part of the royal guard, though. A huge relief” he said. Sans relaxed a little.  
“I still got my hot dog stand, you can help if you want”  
“You and I both know fully well that you can’t stay awake sitting in one place all day! They aren’t all hot dogs anyway!!!” Papyrus made large hand gestures for every word he said, nearly hitting Sans in the face. At that moment, Grillby slid that day’s newspaper across the bar, letting it shove Sans’ fries into his lap. It was open to the ‘hiring’ page. “PERFECT!” Papyrus shouted. All of the offers were by Mettaton. Not even wasting a second, Papyrus picked Sans up in one arm, and the newspaper in the other, and rushed for the door.  
“Paps, my fries-”  
“NO time! You don’t need the grease anyway! NYEHEHEH-HEH!” He shouted as they left.  
  
  
Sans had no idea how it happened, but somehow he was in Hotland wearing a button up shirt and tie. It was a confusing few minutes. Papyrus and Sans entered MTT hotel, being greeted by a sign pointing to a set a of stairs, with “Interviews This Way” written in almost illegibly loopy handwriting. They walked up the stairs and followed about 12 more blindingly pink and fancy signs through a hotel with halls almost as convoluted as Papyrus’ ways of socializing.  
“Wow, this place is amazeing” Sans said, shrugging his shoulders.  
“Why yes, Sans, it’s-” Papyrus’s eyes go wide, before pressing a gloved hand onto his face. “That was too easy Sans” He was grinning under his hand.  
They stepped into the surprisingly boring waiting room together, taking a seat opposite to a geometrically headed monster and a fire elemental. There was a door at the end of the room labeled “MTT” in flashing yellow and red lights. They could hear the beautiful bot’s voice through the door. Sans glanced over the competition. A blue fire elemental he’d only seen in the capital, some geometrical headed monster with a skateboard, a bear monster and a bunny monster from snowdin, a… newspaper holding itself up? Sans sat up a little straighter to peer over the paper, and caught a glimpse of yellow petals.  
“Oh, Flowey?” Sans said, Flowey tilted down his newspaper and raised his eyebrows.  
“The skeleton brothers, didn’t see you come in,” Flowey said. He was.. Sitting? Wrapped around the chair, getting remaining dirt from his uprooted vines all over the upholstery.  
“Sans, I didn’t know you knew Flowey!” Papyrus said.  
“Yeah, we’re good buds.” Sans said, pausing a split second before the last word.  
“Don’t you dare start,” Flowey hissed. The word ‘Sans’ was nearly out of Papyrus’ mouth when.  
“What’s wrong Flowey? It’s bouquet to tell us!” Sans put a hand under his chin as the bunny monster groaned. “Don’t worry I know you’re fine, I’m just pollen your leg!”  
“SANS! You will cease this pun-based assault on our flower friend this instant!” Papyrus shouted. Sans rose from his seat and stood in the middle of the room.  
“Floral I know, Flowey could just love puns. But lilac the ability to tell with him, it’s pretty ribdiculous if you ask me,” Sans said, he shrugged as the fire elemental got up and left. The bear monster put a paw to their face.  
“Sans I swear to me that I’m gonna rip-”  
“We know that neither of us have the guts to do that” Sans interrupted, cutting him off from going into detail. Flowey squinted loudly, an audible squeak sound coming from his face. The rooms was full of quiet groans from the four other monsters in the room “Think I might’ve been a little lop-sided on the types of puns I’ve been using,” He said, making eye contact with the bunny, “I should really get that all squared away” The geometric faced monster had no eyes, eyebrows, mouth, nose, or anything that could express emotion, but you could tell how absolutely done they were. “If you can’t bear it, feel furry to punch me” The two furry monsters gritted their teeth. “Man you look hopping mad!” He closed his eyes and laughed at his own jokes. The best of the pun wave was over, and he was waiting for Papyrus to shout something at him, something about a time and place. “I found all that pretty humerus!” No reply. Sans opened his eyes, and the monsters were all staring… behind him. He looked back, and was face to face with the robot himself.   
Well, more like face to screen, as he was presenting the usual unicycling rectangle. Sans felt a little awkward, and turned to face Mettaton.  
‘Wow, didn’t see you there.” Sans scratched the back of his head, “I feel like-”  
“Oh no,” Papyrus mumbled.  
“I should-”  
“You wouldn’t,” Papyrus pleaded. The room collectively held their breath in anticipation, despite over half of them not being able to breathe.  
“Leaf” Sans said. The backlash was immediate.  
  
“AAAARGH!! I can’t take this!” Flowey shouted, voice going higher than the pitch level audible to humans. He reared back, then slammed his face into the wall, breaking it. He slithered in, disappearing with only a few dirt stains to trace him. Then, to everyone’s surprise. Someone other than Sans laughed. It was almost dainty, nearly coming straight out of one of Alphys’ anime villains. Mettaton, though without a face, placed a hand on his screen and giggled more.  
“Found it pretty humerus I take it?”  
“YOU’VE ALREADY USED THAT ONE!!” Papyrus yelled. Mettaton laughed harder. Then he spoke  
“You two are absolutely ADORABLE! Your dynamic would certainly spice up this workplace!” Mettaton said, clasping his hands together, “Sans, and..”  
“The Great Papyrus! At your service!” Papyrus said, putting great effort into rolling his R’s.  
“Yes, both of you, I cannot say for sure that you’re both hired/promoted, for legal and dramatic tension reasons, but you so far might be the most hilarious monsters I’ll ever hire” Papyrus’s jaw detached and clattered to the floor. Sans looked exhilarated. Mettaton gestured to the interview room, “Please, come in, both of you!”  


**Author's Note:**

> Well, I couldn't just upload this alone, so I wrote two chapters in a google doc before doing so. I don't know how to indent text on this, so if someone can help me with that i'd appreciate it. OH! and also I was physically unable to rewrite this without Papyrus in it. I love him too much.


End file.
